


kisses under my palm

by neon_air



Series: love is love [1]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Kissing, Pride, Short & Sweet, no beta cuz suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-22 23:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19138885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neon_air/pseuds/neon_air
Summary: Carol Danvers has been kissed before but never by the one person she wanted it from most.





	kisses under my palm

**Author's Note:**

> happy pride!! as your local bisexual bitch, it is my duty to give you some quality gay shit. this is my first time writing Carol and Maria but i love them so im giving it a shot. i'll probably do another pride story but here's a short one for now. 
> 
> happy pride everyone! hope you have a great, positive, joyful pride! and whether you are out or not, you are valid and loved and deserve to celebrate yourself <3

Carol Danvers had been kissed before. 

By Jonathan Libs in second grade, a quick press of his lips on hers in the middle of a soccer game. By Phoebe Green in fifth grade, a slow, hesitant, revealing, earth-shattering kiss behind an old movie theater. By Terry Munns in high school, a forced action that she punched him for. By Archie Ray during her first year in the force, a quiet, meaningless kiss that made them both smile. By Lindsay Pickett in her third year in the force, a dramatic, heated, rebellious kiss in Pancho's bar in front of everyone. 

Vers had been kissed before. 

By Quinam, a Krylorian in purple armor, a quick peck on the lips to avoid being hit on. By Latu, an alien covered in blue spots like freckles, a messy, mushy kiss on the cheek after a job well down. By a green male alien, a slow, lingering kiss that made them both blush. By Lirev, a scaly alien whose lips had been rough. By Minnerva, an exasperated, reluctant kiss on a dare. 

Whoever she was, whatever name she was under, Carol had been kissed before. But she had only ever kissed back a number of times. She had kissed Phoebe back, just as hesitant and scared because it meant something. She had kissed Lindsay back, hot and rushed and  _ victorious _ , making sure Lindsay didn’t fall when Carol dipped her. She kissed Quinam, wanting to make it convincing so that the brute who didn’t know how to take a no would leave Quinam alone. She had been kissed and had kissed before. 

But it was rare that she actually wanted to kiss someone. 

She had consented to most of the kisses in the past but it was never because she felt something. Maybe with Lindsay or Archie but those had been revelations. Lindsay had been a test, both a sigh of relief because it had been real and a sinking feeling in her stomach because it was  _ real.  _ Archie had been meaningless, a nod of acknowledgment that while Carol liked both men and women, they were better off as friends.

She had never felt something with those kisses. There had never been a gasp before kissing back. There had never been a want for more. There had never been a spark in her stomach, a string of  _ yes, yes, yes  _ running through her mind. And that was fine. So she didn’t feel the rush of being kissed, the sweeping, swelling feeling of someone’s lips on her. That was fine. 

The problem was that she wanted that. And she knew she had had it once.

Six years under manipulation was hard to wear off. Vers didn’t exist anymore but neither did Carol. At least not the one those on Earth might know. Whoever this Carol was now, was different from whoever that Carol had been then. But over her time on Earth and off it, memories began to resurface. She remembered singing her heart out with Maria in Pancho’s. She remembered the day she found out Maria was pregnant with Monica. She remembered helping Maria with raising Monica for three years. She remembered the force and the family she was born into and the family she chose. 

She remembered kissing Maria when Monica was two and wanting more and feeling the rush of being kissed and the sweeping, swelling feeling of it all. She remembered stepping away from Maria, remembered the silent agreement not to talk about it. They hadn’t been ready to face those emotions yet. Carol remembered how much it tore her heart but it had been easy to push aside. Maria would always come first, along with Monica. Carol could push aside her emotions until Maria was ready.

They never got the chance to talk about it before Carol was taken and became Vers. 

But now Carol was back and she remembered. It was still as dangerous as it had been six years ago. But Carol had always chased what she wanted, consequences be damned. This was delicate though. Carol didn’t want to lose Maria; she was one of the only things that made sense to Carol half the time. She didn’t want it to be awkward or stiff. She didn’t want it to affect Monica, didn’t want to stop being Auntie Carol.

She had to be careful. She couldn’t go in raging this time. She had to be patient and gentle and calm. She could do that. 

Her opportunity came a week after remembering the kiss. One whole week of wanting and thinking and hoping and wishing. 

Carol came home (and god, she loved the sound of that) from a mission. Talos had given her a pair coordinates to a seemingly abandoned planet that was suddenly inhabited by migrants who needed a place to stay. Carol was able to bring them to safety with some of Talos’ men. She was able to head home soon afterward. 

She immediately headed for Louisiana. It felt good to return to a house that was a home, a people that was a family. She hadn’t had that as Vers, and she didn’t remember most of it as the old Carol. 

It was dawn when she arrived. She landed gently on the ground, already smiling. She pulled the spare key from the mailbox and entered the house. It was quiet, both inhabitants fast asleep. Carol silently made her way to her room. Grabbing some sweatpants and a t-shirt, she went to the bathroom and took a shower. 

She was tying her hair up into a bun when there was a knock at her door. “Come in,” she said quietly. 

She turned around as the door opened. She pinned the final hair into place as Maria walked in. “Hey,” Maria smiled, rushing over to hug Carol. Carol returned the hug wholeheartedly, closing her eyes and feeling something in her chest settle. “I wasn’t expecting you back until later this week.” 

“I finished the mission early,” Carol explained, pulling back to look at Maria. “I figured I should just come home.” 

Maria’s smile brightened when Carol said home. “It all went to plan, yeah?” Maria asked. 

“Of course,” Carol chuckled as they sat down on her bed. “I was on the job, wasn’t I?” 

Maria laughed, lying down, leg dangling over the side of the bed. “I can only imagine what it’s like up there,” she said quietly, looking up at Carol. She looked gorgeous, hair all rumpled, twisted, wrinkled pajamas. There was a lazy smile gracing her lips and Carol wanted nothing more than to kiss it. She didn’t. 

“I’ll take you up there one day,” she promised, lying down next to Maria. “Somewhere nice, calm. The adventures can wait for a little bit.” 

“You? Waiting for adventures?” Maria said incredulously, eyebrows raised. She turned her head to give Carol a look. “Who are you and what have you done with my girl?” 

My girl. Carol loved the sound of that. 

“She’s still here,” Carol said, “she just figured that a slow intro to the rest of the universe would be a good idea.” 

“God, I never thought you and slow would mix; at least not well,” Maria laughed.

Carol joined in, smiling brightly at the woman next to her. The laughter tapered off eventually and then it was just the two of them and silence. They stared at each other, something soft passed between their gazes. It felt safe and warm. Carol wanted to feel like that forever. 

“Hi,” Carol whispered. 

“Hi,” Maria whispered. They both giggled. 

The silence didn’t settle quite yet. It was too heavy suddenly to completely rest. Carol swallowed and gathered all the courage she could muster. Every mission gone awry, every mission gone right, every flight and test, all the bravery from each gathered in her chest. She took in a deep breath and said, voice low and quiet, “Can I try something?” 

“Depends,” Maria told her, never taking her eyes off Carol.

“I won’t do anything unless you tell me I can,” Carol said, eyes glued to Maria. 

The room went still for a second. It waited with bated breath. 

“Okay,” Maria murmured, giving a minute nod of her head. “Go on.”

The courage in Carol’s chest shook. She willed it to hold steady. Slowly, she raised herself up onto her elbow. Heart hammering, she braced herself on her free arm, placing it on the empty space of the bed on Maria’s right side. She hovered over Maria, eyes searching her features. There was no fear or aversion, just trust. Taking one final deep breath, she leaned down and pressed her lips to Maria’s. 

It was just as she had remembered. The sweeping, swelling feeling in her gut, the rush of kissing someone she wanted to kiss, the want, the  _ burn  _ for more. Out of everything she had accomplished in her life, kissing Maria Rambeau might have just been the best thing she had done. 

She pulled back, eyes shut. She memorized and savor the kiss. If she found herself with no memories again, then this was what she wanted to remember first. Maria and kissing her and loving her and loving her daughter and loving the small little house in Louisiana. This is what she wanted to remember. This is what she wanted to have. 

“Carol,” she heard Maria whisper. “Open your eyes.”

Carol did. 

Maria looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful. 

Carol didn’t say anything. Neither did Maria.

Carol wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone who moved first. Maybe it was Carol, maybe it was Maria. Maybe they moved at the same time. Maybe it didn’t matter who moved first because their lips touched again and nothing else mattered. 

It was slow and calm and small and  _ perfect _ .

Carol brought one hand to cup Maria’s cheek. They found a rhythm, something slow and toe-curling. Carol closed her eyes again even though she wanted to marvel at the woman with to her.

They broke apart when the need to breathe overcame their want to continue. “I remembered something,” Carol told Maria as they both caught their breath. “When Monica was two, we did this. It was too early though.” 

“I wasn’t ready to face that,” Maria admitted. “I had Monica and a world that was already on my case. I wasn’t ready.” 

“That’s okay,” Carol said, rubbing her thumb over Maria’s cheekbone. “I don’t think I was either. Not entirely.” 

“How about now?” Maria asked quietly. 

“If you are,” Carol told her. Carol could push it all down if Maria wasn’t ready. They could continue together, just not in the way Carol wanted. Carol could move forward, could keep the family she found and was welcomed into. She could do that if that’s what Maria wanted, if Maria wasn’t ready. 

But Maria moved upward, kissing Carol once again. “With you at my side,” she started, leaning back and smiling, “with  _ my family  _ with me, I feel like I could take on the world and everything else that came with it.” 

“Us against the world,” Carol mused, smiling back.

“You, me, Monica,” Maria listed off, “and whoever else we pick up on the way.”

“Sounds like one hell of an adventure, Captain Rambeau.” Carol had never felt warmer. 

“Sure does, Captain Danvers. You ready?” 

Carol brushed her lips against Maria’s and whispered, “More than ever.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Check out my tumblr: neon-air


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